“Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth.
It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter.
It’s round and wet and crowded.
At the outside, babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here.
There’s only one rule that I know of, babies—:
“‘…you’ve got to be kind.'”
This is from God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater by Kurt Vonnegut.
Not such a bad rule: Be kind.
It’s worth noting that kindness is the rule of life, rather than niceness.
Being kind is a deeper level of action and intention that shows genuine compassion, interest, care and empathy in your actions. Kindness takes effort, time and, at times, can be challenging. Being nice is a surface-level action that involves being polite, treating people well, acting pleasingly or agreeably, and not being as complex or engaged in your actions. Kindness is easy, often effortless and quick.
Take a moment to think about your interactions with others. I’m sure you’ve experienced times when someone was nice but not necessarily kind.
In business, it’s important to remember to be kind. Kindness is what builds genuine, authentic, open and honest relationships.
Here’s an example of the difference between being kind versus being nice.
For example, you ask a friend, “How has business been this past month?”
Your friend responds, “We broke even in our sales. We had a strong first half of the month. However, halfway through, we noticed a drastic decline in new orders. So, we’re trying to figure out what happened, so we’re not behind our sales goals next month.”
A nice response from you to your friend might look like: “I’m sorry to hear about that. I hope it works out.”
- You quickly respond with a polite, “I’m sorry, I hope it gets better,” acknowledgment but display no desire to spend extra time and energy talking through the issue with them or seeing how it’s impacting their livelihood and future. You’ve responded enough to feel self-satisfied in providing the appropriate or pleasing response and haven’t offered to help or present any interest and empathy in the situation.
A kind response from you to your friend might look like: “I’m sorry to hear about that. It’s always frustrating when you feel like you’re on the right track, then something unexpectedly derails you. I’d like to help you work through this and see if there’s anything I can do to help. Is now a good time to connect or should we set up a separate meeting to talk this through and look at all the factors that could be impacting your sales? I want to ensure you’re in the best position to ride this out if there’s nothing we can do.”
- This response immediately shows interest in your friend’s well-being and business. You’ve demonstrated empathy, offered your time and efforts, and shown genuine concern. You’ve responded in a manner that goes beyond a simple “best wishes” message, demonstrating care and compassion. This response goes beyond self-gratification of the appropriate response and puts the other person’s feelings at the forefront of the conversation.
Simply put, the difference between being kind versus being nice lies in your actions’ intent.
What I enjoy about Withum’s culture is that many elements of The Withum Way revolve around kindness – kindness for our people, our clients and our communities. We think client centrically, cultivate open and honest relationships, embrace the family spirit and give back – all of these actions come from a place of compassion rather than doing things for the sake of just being nice or doing what’s pleasing, expected or easy. When nurturing your relationships to land new business or retain the clients you already have, remember to be kind because nice won’t cut it.
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